10 more days until I take the MCAT. I got rocked again by a practice exam today. Scoring the lowest I think I've ever scored on a practice test…20 (6,5,9). Anyway, I was studying and reviewing what I had gotten wrong and learning as I went through the test and realized that I wasn't exactly myself. I needed the spirit and knew it was time to read the scriptures. I went onto the LDS.org website and found something about the creation and read a little, then I clicked on the words,
"If there is a design in this world in which we live, there must be a Designer. Who can behold the many wonders of the universe without believing that there is a design for all mankind? Who can doubt that there is a Designer?"
It took me to President Monson's talk, I don't know when he gave it but he recounts the hope that can be attained through the faith of the reality of a Savior. President Monson goes on to explain the scourging, the crown of thorns, the burdensome walk with the cross and the Savior's words as He was nailed to the cross and mercilessly mocked. The descriptive words President Monson used provided my mind with an image in my mind of the Savior on the cross. He gave up the ghost and returned to His father. "At the last moment, the Master could have turned back. But He did not." He had voluntarily chosen to fulfill this mission and had went through till the last drop of propitiating blood had been given. He could have turned back at any point of the way, but He did not.
I do not wish to compare my life and miniscule decisions to that of the Savior Jesus Christ's life and mission. I do, however, wish to extract from His life the principles with which I wish to govern my own. As before mentioned, Jesus Christ had made offered himself as a Sacrifice for all mankind. He was chosen and thereby prepared himself to successfully fill that roll. I have made a very small decision, to be a physician, a doctor that knows and practices the healing art. My pursuit for medicine is one in which I do not wish to be praised by men. I do not desire status nor luxurious living. I want to provide adequate and careful assistance to individuals suffering from their disease accustomed bodies. I would like to assist others, as a leader (because I could be nurse or some other health care professional that works under a doctor), helping them with something that they themselves cannot help themselves with. I wish to be this kind of an individual…something ironic, I feel almost completely unqualified. My grades are mediocre, my mind is semi-sharp (Check my verbal please) but my heart is in it. I want this very badly.
My hope, is to look back, 6-10-15 years from now and to see more than just a successful MCAT score, passing board exams, and entrance into a respected residency. I would like to look back and recognize that I have had the unique privilege of facilitating learning, healing, and encouragement for this difficult place we call earth. Learning through assisting my colleagues and family, Healing through appropriate treatments and healing procedure best practices, and encouragement as a beacon of positivity to everyone around me (very realistic and personable).
I want to be a doctor, and I want to be a good one. This road which I have chosen to walk is one which challenges me more than any other I have seen or imagined in my life. I wish to acknowledge that now, more than ever before I know that without the help of the Almighty Father of Heaven and Earth, I could not expand my mind in the way that is demanding of a profession such as this. I am unable to learn all the equation, scientific concepts, nor abstract thoughts of philosophers (Verbal) without His divine intervention. That is a fact. That is a fact. I need His help and I need the faith requisite to merit the blessings of Heaven. With this divine assistance and only with it, I will be able to fulfill my role as a doctor physician and will prayerfully thus align my life more closely with the life Heavenly Father would have me live to be a better instrument in His hands to bring others closer to Him.
-Michael Lon Henderson
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